Its true, Ignorance Is Bliss.
Once you know things, you start seeing problems everywhere and once you see problems, you feel that you're out to fix them, and fixing problems always seem to require personal change. And change means doing things that aren't fun I say phooey to that.
May 17 1992 - Calvin and Hobbes.
I thought I could erase it out of my mind at that moment, and i can chat like before. I had shower that night and i stayed up for an hour picturing what happened. Everywhere I went, be it in school or in the car.. i think about it. After all this.. I still think about him and I love him. But I don't know if he really loves me or he's just not caring about how I feel. I just hope its not the second one. Its a mess at the moment.. I want it to be over soon and be back to what it was before.
In christ Alone
Brian Littrell
In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes
Like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal
To the grace by which I stand
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone
In Christ alone will I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone
Is Christ alone
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes
Like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal
To the grace by which I stand
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone
In Christ alone will I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone
Is Christ alone
arghh.. everything is getting gay. I just wanna get out of school and be free of stress. monday night.. no comment on that..
anyways.. on a nice note, after the thailand trip with the perthie girls, a few of us are planning to go to KL for new years =) Planning to meet up with shane, justin and josh too! It'll definitely be good fun. hehe. End of november is going to be the best ever... Goodbye highschool and hello uni! and holidays await.. man.. i cant wait til bkk and kl. We all should think about the good things in life eh.. yes we should.
In the midst of the trial that you are going through, you praise Him that He is Your righteousness in spite of all the mistakes you have made. You thank Him that He is your Prince of Peace, and that He will bring His peace into you and His calm into your chaotic world.
I wish I could go back to P A R A D I S E .
Everyday there is something that would remind me of the distance. I sit and stare into space thinking how strong i've been these past few months. Everyday and everynight the thought would cross my mind and I would break down into tears. I wonder what it is that is making me persevere through something so difficult as this. I pick myself up and the day passes as usual. I envy every other couple i see or know. I see them hold each others hand, go out for lunch together, hang out at each others house, call each other every night.. Its so hard and yet I dig and search for that persevering spirit in me that keeps me going. I just want to hold his hand. Just for 1 minute.. or 30 seconds.. even 5 seconds.. I cant even hear his voice without accumulating an expensive phone bill. I go out with friends or my family, i always think about him.. thinking about how nice it would be if he was here.. walking down the beach with me.. sitting on the couch watching movies.. everything is impossible. I guess this weekend has been a total wreck for me, and i got no one to hug or hold on to.. I'm missing out on the comfort a bf would bring during times like this.. Its a two way thing and he probably feels the same.. i cant blame him.. cant blame anyone but myself for beginning this torture but loving it at the same time.
I love him to bitss!
Untitled.
I'm lost in this world
i have no purpose to live.
suicide is a sin
but it seems to be the easiest way out.
The thought of fallin into a long sleep
and never waking up to troubles on this earth.
My soul is like a piece of thin glass.
Dropped from a thousand feet above
into little pieces of nothing.
Goodbye.
Its not meant to be.
I guess it was never meant to be. Melbourne was never the place for me. Now, my dreams of studying commerce/econs at melbourne university has just been made impossible. When I heard that applic was a pre-requisite, my mind just went into a daze. I was tearing inside. I did'nt know what to say or do.. My eyes were watery.. and tears were just waiting to come out.. but I was in school.. who would want to cry infront of the school advisor? I sat there looking at all the other possible courses i could do. There are many other things I could do but the fact that i can't do what i want in melb is a big stab.. my mind is not ready to take anymore stress in any sort. I'll see what happens after TEE. I'm not even sure if i can do well in that. I'll leave it at this and go cry in the corner.
Yr 12 pj party!
Yes. We arrived in our cutest pj's and the party kick started at 5pm in the cafeteria. The bowls of chips and nachos, and plates of fairy bread were being passed around as people walked in. We all gathered in our chosen spots to munch and chit chat.
Games time! We headed to the sports centre to play 'blow the malteses with a straw' and 'fruit salad'. It was pretty funny. The dominos pizza man came along and we carried 40 boxes of pizza's into the cafeteria. Good stuff i say =) hawaiian, MEATBALL MONSTER, vegorama and supreme with garlic bread. yummmyy.. mua ha ha! fill my tummy tummmmy. hehe. We watched the lamest-ly funny movie - high school musical and we ended the night dancing to old school disney music and stuff.. and of course, lotsa photos were taken =)
5 more weeks and counting!
I WANT TO SEE HIM NOWWWWWWWW!
EVERYTHING
find me here
and speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
you are the light that's leading me
to the place
where I find peace again
you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting you are the life
to my soul you are my purpose
you're everything
and how can I
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be any better than this yeah
you calm the storms
you calm the storms
and you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
and you take my breath away
would you take me in
take me deeper now
and how can I
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be any better than this
and how can I
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be any better than this
cause you're all I want
cause you're all I want
you're all I need you're everything
everything
you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything
you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything
you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything
and how can I
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be any better than this
and how can I
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
would you tell me
how could it be any better than this.
chero*
Yes. I believe that geographic distance does become a factor of diminishing importance in todays society.
driving and tutoring in the morning.. and headed off to lunch with uncle baz and all.
we were bored. the parents were talking and shano, justo, josh and I decided to take a walk, and we spotted the huge sign saying BUNNINGS WAREHOUSE. Yes. we went to bunnings. Josh made up a game. 'Guess the price'. We had to grab something and remember the price and bring it back to each other, and we'll guess the price. Who gets the closest wins. We searched for interesting gadgets and stuff. After a few games, we got the bunnings dude to play with us too. Random shenenigans we were. I took something worth 60cents, while shano took some.. big tin of something. haha. Good stupid times. lol. We went back.. and those parents were STILL talking. so what did we do? Lets go walking again! We walked into the wine shop to guess the prices of wine.. that didnt really work. but yes we ended up buying chocolate at the deli. Random arvo it was, and i came home to do study. Sigh.
Its hard to think positive. Its 8 weeks till the end of school. approx 9 weeks till mocks, and 12 weeks till the dreadful TEE .. and in no time, i'll be out of perth and hello singapore, and hopefully, hello melbourne. What a life ahead of me. I'll hope for the best this year.
12.15am. chero should sleep. tata.
Brian Mcknight*
Funny when you stop and think
Time goes faster than you blink
But nothing's ever
Like it was
But hey, we've got a special thing
And all the happiness it brings
Is more than enough
I know it's hard to believe
You're still the biggest part of me
All I'm living for
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
And need you by my side
I'm still mad about you
All I ever wanted was you
You're still the one
You're still the one
It's hard to breathe when we're apart
You're like sunshine in my heart
I keep you here inside
You've been everything to me
You've been and always will be
The apple of my eye
I know it's hard to believe
You're still the biggest part of me
All I'm living for
I still think about you
I still dream about you
I still want you
And need you by my side
I'm still mad about you
All I ever wanted was you
You're still the one
You're still the one
If you love me
Look into my eyes
And say you do
I've been waiting
All my life
For someone, Just like you
And baby after all we've been through
Jon, I'm still in love with you
the lake house* - how do you hold someone you've never met?
well, the answer..
you can't. you just gotta wait.
loved up. or not..
tears always run.
I dont know what to do.
my heart says yes.
my logic says no.
i love him to bits,
but,
how long can my heart withstand the heartache?
tonight,
my heart and soul cries out.
For comfort. For his presence to be here with me.
poured out my thoughts to certain people.
I get different answers,
some are pleasing, some are not.
the more there's no contact,
the ground turns shaky.
maybe i should have listened to my instinct at the start.
But my heart said go. Happiness awaits.
Happiness? or heartache?
or
both?
If only I was there, if only he was here.
If only we met after uni, things could be brighter
I dont want to lose this.
The joy, the love,
just that undescribable feeling.
Now,
as Tears run down,
down my cheeks,
onto my lips..
I'm thinking...
Love has no boundaries..
maybe there are.
Just that we don't know it.
few months back,
I never dreamt about anything like this,
but it happened. Unexpectedly.
Despite the roller coaster feelings,
I'm happy it happened.
This is life.
You never know whats gonna happen next.
Suspense. Thats what it is.
signing off..
To the guy that I have given my heart to from the day we 'met',
I love you.
and its going to be hard to get it back.
