cheZziie-licious

Monday, October 09, 2006 @10:24 PM

So many things have happened since august last year. Good things and bad. Mostly bad. Or lets say depressing to the soul. Maybe you can say I have been depressed, or I AM suffering from depression. I never know til i see a psychologist or some sort of doctor. Everywhere I go, mr sorrow, mr regret, mr stress and mr sad accompanies me. Deep down there, is lil miss joy that is somewhere in the rubble, just wanting to get out. I wish my life had a restart button like my laptop, or a 'back' button on internet explorer. If only my life was like one of the sims, I can always rewind my life and start again. Rewind back to the 11th of Dec 1989, or back to grade 3, where life was just starting to begin. I reckon I had the perfect life til then. Or maybe me thinking that I had The perfect life was an illusion. Everything started to change after Grade 4. People saw me in a different way. Everyone did. I lived in denial til I set foot in perth. I had every moment of sadness written down in a book. Its not hard to find the tear drops on the page. My life seems to be good then bad, then really bad, then so-so, then really good.. then bad/good.. Its like a business cycle.. fluctuates all the time. Theres always something that would affect the good phase. Most of the time, pretty big situations.

Hidden behind the smile
is a different scene.
crying.
yelling.
yearning.
hoping.
For the smile to be true.

I'm happy.

Well, I think I am.